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foam-boardBack before many of you were born, I was in an Army-Navy surplus store.  I saw a few chunks of flat foam that looked like one of them might make a good top for my bed.

It was only a couple of inches thick, and the price seemed outlandish, so I didn’t buy it.

Some other dude bought it, and a whole new industry was born – foam mattresses!

They look like a great deal, but have you see the prices?  Up to a thousand bucks and more!  For a lousy chunk of spun petroleum!

Lately I have been suffering from a persistent kidney stone on my right side,  I tore my biceps in my left shoulder some months ago, so sleeping on either side has been a nightmare.

You can see the indentation in my old mattress where my butt carries the heaviest load.

Then my daughter finally talked me in to it.  “Dad, we bought our 3” foam mattress “topper” at Walmart.  We love it.  You should try it!”

How could I turn down my daughter.

topperFor my full size bed, I found a four-inch topper.  Actually two 2″ pieces stuck together.  $110 at Walmart.

The rules say to let the thing unwind for a couple of days on a flat surface, and it pretty much took all of 48 hours to lie (almost) flat.

First, I tried just tossing it on my old mattress.  I had two horrible, back-breaking nights.  The thing would curl up on both sides like a canoe and try to make me into a mummy.

Then,I figured out the topper needs to lie on a FLAT surface.

I turned my old mattress over – one of those “comfort-pillow” jobs – to the “down” side.  The side that is never supposed to see the light of day is now on top.  Then, I put the new topper on top of the flat surface.

VOILA!

Two wonderful nights of sleep so far!!!  In fact, it is really hard to leave that wonderful thing!  I don’t know about anyone else, but this topper is cradling my sore shoulder, and then my side.  The sore spots sink in, and are cushioned all around!

I must be kinda dense, though.  For years, I have though “memory” foam means the foam learns the shape of your body and stays that way – just like in the movie PSYCHO.

However, the “memory” part comes after you leave, and the bed “remembers” what it looked like before you got in, and returns to its original shape.  Duh!

With apologies to Charlton Heston, you can have my memory foam mattress “when you can pry it from my cold, dead hands!”

Thanks, daughter!!

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