waterAs a 68 year old male, living alone, I do my best to keep my ailments to a minimum.

If I were rich and famous, I imagine I would have a nutritionist on staff to help me with all the changing regulations and tricky packaging.  Maybe I’d even have a nurse.  I might even be a vegan, with a weekly splurge at a steak house,

If I were rich and famous, I would have a cook – someone voiced in all my various aliments, and what foods were best for each sign of aging.  She/He would be voiced in all the latest health updates, and would probably have a nursing degree

But I’m not rich.

So, I fend for myself in a world filled with tricks and tiny writing to make it harder and harder for me to eat healthy food.

I know processed foods are the ones I need to incinerate, but that leaves precious little on the shelves of my local Walmart.  So, I do my best.

Imagine my shock the other day when I pulled down my box of Instant rice and read the label.

Oh, rice is the key ingredient, but listen to this: “Enriched precooked long grain rice (now get this: RICE, NIACIN, IRON, THIAMIN, FOLIC ACID).  Say what!  I thought I was eating rice!

So I started looking around the house.  My frozen fish isn’t just Tilapai, it has also been gassed with CARBON MONOXIDE!  Isn’t that the same stuff that kills people?  I guess they gas all meat at the grocery store with carbon monoxide so it will look fresh.  Normally, dead meat turns gray, and who is going to eat dead, gray meat?

One more item to look up – my bottled water.


I swear, before Winco switched to this brand, their previous bottled water just said “Water” on the label.

My water isn’t water.

What else “isn’t?”


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